WWE Draft Shows
Is it just me or is the concept of a WWE ‘draft’ one of the most insanely retarded concepts that the company has come up with? Does anybody really care? I tried to watch Raw last night, it was however a chore to do so.
To be honest I couldn’t even tell you who was on what show anyway, they all cross-over all of the time as it is, especially prior to Wrestlemania which is what we are just coming off of. The worst part of the show is probably having to listen to the announcers act as if we are witnessing something special, or exciting, or worth anyone’s time just because Melina got switched over from the Monday night show to the Friday night one. It’s ridiculous, really it is.
As I was trying to watch Raw last night, a few things came to mind. I started to think of a few reasons why watching the WWE is such a chore these days. The top four reasons were:
4th- The announcers.
I’ve already done a blog on how great Heenan & Monsoon were, and how bad the announcers of the present are. Last night, however, the viewing audiences was ‘treated’ to all six of the WWE’s announcers. Jerry Lawler, someone whom I initially liked back in the early to mid 1990s is just a farce these days. He’s become unlistenable and predictable. Michael Cole is as drab as it gets, at least Lawler can still manage to be entertaining in isolated spots. I have to be honest, since I don’t watch Smackdown as much as I do Raw, but Cole makes me miss Ross. That’s a hard thing to do. The ECW guys are actually the best of the bunch.
3rd – The use of the word ‘brand’
They keep using the word ‘brand’ on these broadcasts, as if Raw and Smackdown are brands. They are not brands, they are bad television shows and they’re getting worse all the time. ECW is a brand! It is a brand that the WWE has killed, and resurrected simply as another bad television show.
2nd – Watching John Cena and the corporate machine backing him try to do everything he (and they) can to be a posing Rock/Will Smith hybrid.
John Cena is not the Rock and he never will be the Rock. I used to love Rocky Maivia when he turned heel, at first it seemed strange but he took to it and became one of the most entertaining heels ever. When Rock went baby-face what made him unique just made him a boring cartoon. That being said, Rock still had charisma and personality which as translated over into a successful movie career which has allowed him to do something no other wrestler has ever really been able to do: leave wrestling behind. John Cena does not have this appeal, no matter how much the company wants you to think he does. They can make 100 bad movies with Cena as the star, and they can give Cena all of the punchlines and one-liners they can in their staff meetings, etc, etc. It’s not happening. Cena is not funny, he is not entertaining and the whole act is just boring.
Now in the ring, strictly as a wrestling performer, other than his cartoonish-poser five-knuckle shuffle manuver, or whatever you want to call it, and his denim-short-sneaker combo wrestling garb, Cena is pretty good. But that’s all he is.I’m just wondering how long it will be before he drops the title again so the company can build his match at recapturing it at Summerslam again.
1st – The obnoxious way in which the announcers no longer call the WWE: ‘the WWE,’ they simply refer to it as ‘WWE.’ There is no definite article ‘the’ preceding it.
In the movie The Good Shepherd one of the final scenes as Matt Damon’s character asking his friend, who has just gotten him a position in the newly established CIA “Why don’t we call it the CIA? Why is it just called CIA?’ His friends response was something to the affect of: ‘You don’t call it the God, do you? He’s just God.”
Now I understand that when you wish to use World Wrestling Entertainment in a sentence, there is no need for the use of the article ‘the.’ However, when you use the abbreviation WWE the use of the article is appropriate. The company no longer does this however. You can bet that when the company-wide memo went out explaining that the company should simply be referred to as ‘WWE’ and not ‘the WWE’ that the McMahons had this god-notion in place. It also probably bothered them that nobody really calls TNA, the TNA, for example. I have no problem with TNA being called TNA though, simply because the T stands for total – it’s an adjective, no article necessarily needed. The W in the WWE stands for world, which is a noun, therefore it is more than appropriate to precede it with ‘the.’ Even the C for the CIA (I still use the article for the CIA even if it is considered a faux pax by some) is for central, which is also an adjective… but anyway, enough of the laws of grammar. Fact is, the WWE has been called the WWF or the WWE for far too long for them to be making a conscious effort to simply start referring to themselves as WWE now. It’s a subliminal god-complex thing, and you know that when the kiddie-show Superstars is resurrected again you’ll be hearing more of the same, so that the company can have the next generation be brought up under this concept.
I just can’t wait for the day when I call it “the WWE,” in front of someone, only to have them correct me and say “No you’re wrong, there is no ‘the,’ it’s just WWE.”
The one bright spot of the show this past Monday: Jack Swagger.
I watched Cena’s match with Jack Swagger simply because I like Swagger. One thing the WWE does have going for it is that they are loaded with young talent, including Swagger. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if Swagger & Cena aren’t headlining a Wrestlemania sometime in the near future. Jack Swagger looks like he could be that good. (Swagger is going to need some help losing the lisp though, it’s going to hold him back). Even the crowd was chanting for Swagger, which I was happy to hear. I’m sure the powers that be were not, considering he was wrestling Cena.
I still can’t believe Michael Cole makes me miss Jim Ross.
